Here's What Flirting Body Language Looks Like, According to Experts

The language of love may be universal, but the silent messages sent through flirting body language can be difficult to translate. According to body language expert Traci Brown, communicating through gesture, touch, and eye contact is a subtle mode of expression that most interpret unconsciously. Meaning, if you aren't well-versed in deciphering body language, you may miss a few romantic signs when someone gives you a flirting touch.

"A huge part of our communication is body language," says Brown, and understanding how these gestures are used to express interest is something every individual should know. After all, actions speak louder than words, but only if you're able to clearly interpret those actions. That said, don't get too worked up if you're sometimes oblivious to flirtatious body language. According to a research study conducted by the University of Kansas, less than 40 percent of heterosexual men are able to tell when someone is flirting with them, while heterosexual women fall under the 20 percent benchmark.

Given the lack of awareness surrounding one's ability to decipher a flirting touch, we asked Brown to help break down specific body language gestures that indicate someone is interested in you—or not. Whether you're looking to step up your dating game or get a better read on a particular love interest, here's everything you need to know.

Touching on the Arm

Next time you find yourself on a date, take note if your date touches you on the arm. This could be a gentle touch, a soft brush, or a prolonged caress. "People touch each other when they want a deeper connection. This is typically a good sign on a date," Brown explains. She further adds that there are very few accidents when it comes to body language, so if your date "accidentally" brushes your arm or leg, "this is a way to reach out and touch you," she says.

Holding Eye Contact

Notice that your date gazes off to the side, into the distance, or looks down while talking to you? It might be a red flag, as a lack of eye contact can indicate disinterest. "Gazing lovingly into each other's eyes is a sign of romance as old as time," says Brown. "Everyone wants to look at things that make them feel good—hopefully that's their date." Before jumping to any conclusions, however, if the person you're with seems to be distracted, check in to see if anything is going on external to your date.

Leaning in During Conversation

If you're chatting and your date leans into you, consider it a good sign. "This is a way to show they're into you—or at least what you're saying," says Brown. "They're getting closer, showing attention and interest." Wale Okerayi LMHC LPC, a licensed mental health counselor, also notes, "This communicates that no one else in the room matters except for you."

Relaxed Posture

How is your date sitting? Are they relaxed with their arms at their sides, or do they keep them crossed the whole time? According to Brown, crossed arms are not a great sign if you're hoping for a love connection. "It could mean closed, cold, comparing, or needing comforting," she says. However, if your date is relaxed in their posture, no matter if you're sitting or standing, this indicates that they feel comfortable with you and, most likely, are interested in you.

Leg Touching

Leg touching—when someone is touching their own leg—requires some decoding. "It depends on how you're touching your leg—is it just smoothing out your pants? That's often connected to self-soothing. Someone would do it if they're nervous," shares Brown. "Or is it a more purposeful stroke of the shin and calf area with a loving gaze? That's a come-on."

Standing or Sitting Close to You

Brown explains that if someone is standing or sitting close to you while on a date, it's a clear sign that love is in the air. "People want to be close to things they like. No rocket science here," she says. Okerayi adds, "This establishes that there is a level of comfort and safety between the two of you" Just be sure that person isn't crossing any physical boundaries. If you don't feel comfortable with how close someone is standing next to you, you can always create a little distance to gain back some personal space. encoutner

Hands on Hips

A date standing with their hands on their hips can be a good or bad sign, depending on how you look at it. "This can be a show of confidence or being ready for anything—even a fight," Brown says. "It makes you bigger and look more imposing." Your date may have total confidence in their feeling for you, but if their confidence feels intimidating or even somewhat aggressive, it could be a turn-off to you.