Do you remember Tide pods? They were these perfect candy-colored and candy-shaped objects filled with soap poison that the teens could not stop eating. Many campaigns were required to stop kids from eating this delicious looking soap. Humans are weird, and if something looks yummy, we want to eat it. And whiskey Tide pods are no different.
Glenlivet has set us all back to square one by designing capsules full of alcohol that look exactly like whiskey Tide Pods. Kids still shouldn’t eat them, but they’re definitely going to want to.
No ice. No stirrer. No glass. We're redefining how whisky can be enjoyed. Introducing The Glenlivet Capsule Collection #noglassrequired pic.twitter.com/F4MGErsfZM
— The Glenlivet (@TheGlenlivet) October 2, 2019
It seems like a joke—why would anyone want to enjoy whiskey in this fashion? The whole point is that whiskey is enjoyable when ingested slowly, with ice or without, sipped in conversation with a friend in an atmospheric bar or by a crackling fire. You don’t inhale it like a Jello shot on spring break.
The capsules hold three different pre-mixed cocktails, though, rather than straight whiskey, according to Thrillist. The capsule skin is made from biodegradable seaweed skin, not plastic, and it’s made by a company called Notpla. At the moment, they’re not yet approved for consumption in the U.S. and were launched as part of London Cocktail Week. So they’re more of a publicity stunt than something you’re going to see at the bar anytime soon. Thank goodness.
People are understandably upset by this nightmare idea:
Guys, no. NO. I enjoy your scotch, but WHHHYYYY would I replace the meditative ritual of sipping a glass of single malt at the end of the day with a lonely, Phillip K. Dick booze-pod? Discontinue these NOW. No harm, no foul. We all make mistakes. https://t.co/7HNjsJuslI
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 5, 2019
Love flooding my entire mouth with astringent whiskey with no control over how slowly I do so. You really know what my whiskey experience was missing? A fucking membrane. https://t.co/fl4Rbbux6C
— Oddworld: The Klumps’ Wrath (@Sein_feldt) October 5, 2019
And the comparison to Tide Pods was noted immediately:
Who's tryna take a Hennessy tide pod shot? https://t.co/3A7d2KKVhL
— FaZe Pamaj (@Pamaj) October 5, 2019
An entire generation were told not to eat tide pods and you just set them all back https://t.co/eWzGasaQcl
— King Vibe Morosely (@praxxxxxis) October 5, 2019
They're targeting millennials with tidepod whisky now. https://t.co/ITXliWouYP
— adland ® (@adland) October 5, 2019
seeing these being called laundry pods, but the pod is made from seaweed
so
technically this is sushi https://t.co/D0y3QsOSZn
— moth dad (@innesmck) October 5, 2019
But these Whiskey Tide pods are reminiscent of a few other too-easy-to-eat snacks:
like a whisky ravioli https://t.co/V68Vs37TAZ
— ZacOyama (@ZacOyama) October 5, 2019
Totino’s Whiskey Rolls https://t.co/Pa8KFxJlSG
— JONAH RAY RODRIGUES (@jonahray) October 5, 2019
But the really scary trend is how many people thought, “Hmm, this would actually be perfect to put in my butt.”
Someone's going to put this up their ass and fucking diehttps://t.co/HMbUS4ixVA
— Steelhart Battlestag (@TheSteelStag) October 6, 2019
boomers, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, please do not put these in your butts. https://t.co/Lf2LqYfDGN
— some dude (@jasonfifi) October 5, 2019
Ok, once again, as a physician and a friend. PLEASE DO NOT PUT THESE UP YOUR ARSES PEOPLE. https://t.co/41CjNUgLGk
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) October 5, 2019
ppl are going to put this in their butts https://t.co/qXAx0i1DKI
— RLynn (@BeccaL_ynn) October 5, 2019
Only a matter of time before someone invented whisky suppositories https://t.co/03WtrT5FSF
— Christian Henderson (@CjvHenderson) October 5, 2019
everyone went from learning the Glenlivet tide pods existed to talking about sticking them in their ass there was no middle ground
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) October 6, 2019
I gotta say, warning everyone not to put these alcoholic Tide Pods in their butts is as good as telling them to do so. You’re just spreading the message. And they’ll be spreading them cheeks for a warm, peaty suppository of aged Glenlivet.
More funny tweets, pictures, and memes:
- 21 Pictures Your Brain Won’t Let You Believe Aren’t Food
- Tide Pods And 42 Other Things That Ruined The Internet
- 49 Of The Funniest Memes You Probably Haven’t Seen Yet This Week, But Should
- 21 Jokes That Millennials And Gen Z-ers Will Love But Baby Boomers Will Hate
- 16 Things That Are 1000% Millennial Culture