Sometimes when we are doing trivial things, like taking a shower, our minds begin an involuntary brainstorming session and we come up with the most brilliant ideas and, at times, weirdest thoughts. These ideas are commonly called “shower thoughts”, and we have collected the best of them here. Scroll down and don’t forget to leave your very own “shower thought” in the comments!
1. Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.
2. Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms.
3. We don’t check the refrigerator multiple times to find new food, we check to see if our standards have dropped enough to eat what was available.
4. Security at every level of an airport is absolutely crazy… Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.
5. Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.
6. Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that’s entirely end credits.
7. There is no physical evidence to say that today is Sunday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.
8. The first person who inhaled helium must have been very relieved when the effects wore off.
9. People who don’t understand how Clark Kent can pass as Superman have never seen Tony Hawk without a skateboard.
10. Wikipedia built the biggest modern information hub using nothing but nerds’ need to correct each other.
11. People are so amazed by the fact that every snowflake is different, but nobody cares that every potato is unique.
12. If you were invisible, you could have a perfectly normal relationship with a blind person.
13. If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
14. Condoms are made by automated assembly lines, meaning robots are literally helping to prevent human reproduction.
15. If everyone on Earth died simultaneously, the internet would be comprised entirely of bots posting, liking, and upvoting each other.
16. If a morgue worker dies they would still need to come in to work one more time.
17. The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth’s history.
18. Traditions are basically dead people peer pressuring us.
19. Amish girls have no way of knowing if it’s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular dinner.
20. Maybe superheroes wear capes to hide the zipper on the back of their onesie.
21. Our two most standard ice cream flavours are… beans.
22. Quitting watching news is like quitting smoking. After a year without it, you see how disgusting it really is.
23. If you think about it, cigarettes are actually a type of veggie wrap.
24. If the Earth is flat, maybe the dinosaurs live on the other side and we keep digging up their dead and buried.
25. Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance.
26. We usually think of dumb people not understanding smart people… but smart people also don’t understand dumb people.
27. Socks and shoes are kind of like carpet and floor, just attached to your feet instead of the ground.
28. Coffee does not give you energy. It loans energy out to you, and you are expected to pay it back with interest.
29. Conspiracy theorists seem to forget how hard it is for even two people to keep a secret.
30. Wedding rings are the “do not disturb” signs for the dating world.
31. Fish is the only food that is regularly accused of tasting too much like itself.
32. Pooping your pants is an experience that is unique to the human species.
33. Insurance is a form of gambling… where you bet against yourself.
34. The fly is the least creatively named animal.
35. It’s weird that Alcoholics Anonymous starts with everyone introducing themselves.
36. It’s weird how we’ve never seen a dinosaur ghost, even though billions of them died in very gruesome ways.
37. Expensive paintings are basically just trading cards for the rich.
38. We tend to obsess on life after death, but hardly ever ponder on life before birth.
39. You can basically violate any culture’s cuisine by putting ketchup on it.
40. Smart TVs won’t be truly smart until they increase volume when crunchy food is detected.
41. Whoever convinced blind people they need sunglasses was one hell of a salesman.
42. You can accidentally make a human life, but not a pizza.
43. Everything is bulletproof if you have enough of it. Even pizzas.
44. We are told never to write down password, yet credit card issuers get away with printing ours directly on the card.
45. Hairless cats are commonly seen as the ugliest feline, but we are the hairless cats of the ape world.
46. The safest public place to rip a huge fart is… in a crowded nightclub.
47. Arguing with someone online is a turn based combat.
48. Funny how in crystal therapy, none of the crystals do bad stuff.
49. In about 10 years, there will be people on Tinder… who will have been born from people who met on Tinder.
50. Vampires cannot see themselves in mirrors, but yet still manage to be extremely well groomed.
The humor of Steven Wright.
…not only chortled over these, but guffawed at a number which startled Henderson, the butler, who had to be transported to urgent care.