As long as people are in relationships, there will be relationship advice. Some of it can be highly specific to the couple; other gems are more general.
On Reddit, people are sharing the more general “hard to swallow” pills folks in relationships need to take in order to be their best selves both alone and in a partnership.
Relationships can be both wonderful and difficult—just don’t assume that your partner can read your mind and never, ever accept violence of any kind. Oh, and get a hobby.
1.
“Losing your identity within a relationship is easy to do. Finding it again isn’t. Remember to keep your friends and hobbies.” —Ieatclowns
2.
“Eventually love is not being ‘crazy in love’ all the time.” — TwoDaysInOklahoma
3.
“At a certain point, you have to accept some particular negative parts of your partners personality or move on. My husband is almost 50. We’ve been married for over 20 years. While he will continue to experience personal growth, there are parts of his personality that are likely to not ever change. The same is true for myself, of course.” — Tricky-garden
4.
“You could do everything right and still lose.” — AgnosticPrankster
5.
“Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. A relationship needs more than love.” — ThisNameBeTaken
6.
“Your partner should be kind to you and vice versa. It’s not okay for your partner to scream at you or curse you out or deliberately hurt your feelings. This isn’t to say that it never ever happens, we all are human and occasionally we mess up. But if they are not consistently kind to you, if they aren’t sorry when they are mean, and if they repeat it then that’s a problem. If you wouldn’t accept the behavior from a friend then you absolutely should not accept it from a partner. The idea that it’s normal for your partner to be mean to you is so freaking bad and I’ve seen way too many people accept crappy relationships because they think love means never having to say sorry and that getting screamed at is acceptable.” — missluluh
7.
“It takes two to be in a relationship. If one person is putting in all the effort and the other isn’t, it’s eventually all going to fall apart when the one who is giving the effort stops. Great relationships are mutual.” — joiey555
8.
“They aren’t going to magically know you’re upset with them. They aren’t going to read your passive-aggressive signs. They aren’t going to pick up on that. Be direct. If you are upset, talk to your partner about it. Not your friends. Not you parents. Not strangers on the internet – your partner.” — Frothy_moisture
9.
“You should not be anxious about the relationship all the time. You shouldn’t be stressed about if they love you or if they’re going to leave you or if they’re out cheating on you or what they’re thinking. It shouldn’t be a major source of stress, in fact if it’s a good partnership both of your lives should be easier. The old adage about relationships being hard work isn’t really accurate, being with them shouldn’t be hard or a battle. It’s more accurate to say that a good relationship takes effort, like you should both be striving for open communication, handle conflict in a healthy way, make each other happy but it shouldn’t be exhausting or hard or stressful to be with them. They should be a source of comfort.” — missluluh
10.
“Sometimes things don’t work. Even if both parties are objectively wonderful people. Even if they love each other and enjoy their lives together. Sometimes things just get in the way and force you to make a hard choice.” — Manatee3232