The Official Dad Ranking Of The Best James Bonds
James Bond has been drinking martinis (or, sigh, Heinekens), killing bad guys, and getting the girl for more than 55 years. He is the pinnacle of suave, a man who can save the world while delivering the pitch-perfect quip (well, most of the time).
He is dad’s favorite film character other than, maybe, Indiana Jones. But seven different actors have portrayed Bond in the 26 films (and counting) he has appeared in. Which leads us to wonder: according to a dad, where do all the Bonds rank?
Well, wonder no more. Here’s the definitive dad ranking of the best James Bonds, from worst to best.
7: David Niven
Before Daniel Craig helped revitalize the Bond franchise with Casino Royale, David Niven was tapped to portray an older, retired James Bond in the horrendous mistake of a film bearing the same name. The movie came out in 1967, five years after Connery’s debut in Dr. No, and was produced by a rival company.
Oh, and it’s a comedy featuring Woody Allen and Peter Sellers. Your dad probably didn’t watch the first Casino Royale, and if he did he definitely doesn’t like it. It’s not really Niven’s fault, being cast in a purposely goofy movie, but he is, extremely, the Worst Bond.
6: George Lazenby
When Sean Connery decided to retire as Bond in 1969 (though he would subsequently play the role again in 1971 and in 1983), it was widely acknowledged that whoever took his place would have some pretty big shoes to fill.
Unfortunately, those shoes had to be filled by George Lazenby, an Australian model who had never been in a movie before in his entire career. He didn’t particularly enjoy the experience, and it shows.
He only played Bond once, in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, and vowed to never play Bond again immediately after the experience. Granted, he managed to star in one of the better Bond movies, and the only one where 007 actually gets married, but Lazenby is forever known as the Worst Bond (among people who don’t count David Niven).
5: Timothy Dalton
One of the most dad-friendly aspects of the James Bond films is the generally light tone that the films have, despite basically murdering dozens of henchmen each film.
James Bond basically thrives on making dad jokes right after killing someone, which is why Timothy Dalton’s portrayal in his two films does not rank very high for most dads. Dalton is a classically trained actor, who has had an incredible career and has proven in films like Hot Fuzz that he can be hilarious in a role.
But he decided, because it was the 80s, that his Bond should be darker and more serious. While that might make for a more compelling Bond, it’s not the Bond that dads love.
4: Pierce Brosnan
After Dalton’s last Bond film, there were six years without a Bond. Enter, Pierce Brosnan, who brought the suave charm (and dad puns) back into the role. While GoldenEye was the only Bond film he did that can be considered to be “actually, non-ironically good” he checks off all the boxes a dad needs in his Bond.
He looks like Bond, he sounds like Bond, he acts like Bond. He was James Bond. It’s just a shame that he got stuck with scripts like “how about the villain is…a newspaper?”
3: Daniel Craig
Daniel Craig will forever be known as “the gritty Bond.”
While the world wasn’t ready for Dalton’s “edgy” Bond, Craig stepped in right when the franchise seemed to have gone off the rails and saved it single-handedly by getting thwacked in the nuts by a rope in Casino Royale. Okay, there’s a lot more to Craig’s bond than that.
He’s a mix of smooth and menacing, as believable in a tux as he is in a fight. He’s the Bond that dads look at and say, “Oh man, what a badass.” But being a badass isn’t enough to make a perfect Bond. That’s why, just edging him out we have…
2: Roger Moore
Roger Moore was, by all accounts, pretty much one of the best people on the planet. But he also was your dad’s favorite Bond.
While his films were definitely more hit-or-miss (mostly miss) than Craig’s latest Bond series, Roger Moore lasted seven films for a reason. He was suave, sure, but most everyone knows Moore as the “funny” Bond. His throwaway humor and slapstick definitely came off as silly, and only seem more ridiculous now, but that’s what dads like in their Bond.
They don’t want Bond to be serious, they want him to be silly. They also like Bond to unzip a woman’s dress with a magnetic watch. Yes, all dads have a sweet spot for Roger Moore’s Bond, but even he can’t top the OG 007.
1: Sean Connery
Was there ever any doubt who the number one dad-approved James Bond would be?
The original is always the best, and Sean Connery made James Bond into James Bond. Without Connery, it’s doubtful we’d even have all the Bond films we have today.
When he was hired in the role after a career as an amateur bodybuilder, Ian Fleming, the man behind the character, expressed displeasure with the decision. He said that Connery would never be able to fill the tux the way he envisioned. But by From Russia, With Love even Fleming had to admit he could hardly imagine the role played by anyone else.
And though six others have since played 007, all dads can agree that none will ever match the original James Bond, Sean Connery.