The unknown is scary—and generally accompanied by a whole lot of urban legends. That’s true whether you’re heading to the New World (“It’s flat! You’ll drop off!”) or exploring the black hole between your butt cheeks. But the unknown is also exciting and often well worth the adventure.
Here, we dispel six myths about anal sex so you can get on discovering the uncharted territory of your peach pit.
1. It’s Painful
As long as you lube it up, take it slow, relax, and don’t have hemorrhoids (ouch!), anal sex shouldn't be painful, says gynecologist Alyssa Dweck, M.D., assistant clinical professor at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. The anus is a lot tighter than the vagina, so you’ve got to be gentle—especially at first, as you warm up to the whole back-door thing. If you’ve experienced some pain in the past (or just heard horror stories from your gal pals), it’s likely that one of the above instructions weren’t followed to a T.
2. Since Women Don’t Have a Prostate, It Can’t Really Feel That Good
Okay, so even if it shouldn’t hurt, it can’t really feel that great for women, right? Wrong. Pleasure during anal sex is about way more than the prostate, says Dweck. “The anus is rich in blood vessels and nerves and thus highly sensitive, making anal play popular and erotic for some women.”
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In fact, in one study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 94 percent of women who received anal during their last sexual encounter said they had an orgasm. (Still, that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Hey, different strokes for different folks.)
3. You Don’t Need a Condom
Dweck says the simple fact that there’s almost a zero chance of pregnancy with anal sex makes it all the more pleasurable for many women. However, it does carry a risk of STD transmission—about the same as does vaginal intercourse. After all, any micro-abrasions in your anal tissue can act as little entry points for bacteria and viruses to enter your bloodstream, she says. Don’t despair. Condoms usage can not only prevent transmission—it can also reduce friction to make for a “smoother entry,” she says. Just remember to change condoms before switching to vaginal sex, or vice versa.
4. It Will Be Dirty (In a Fecal Sort of Way)
So we won't say there’s no chance of getting poo particles on his ding-a-ling or letting things loose mid-thrust, but it’s highly unlikely. “Most waste is sitting in the lower intestine where a finger, sex toy, or penis is not going to reach,” says sex therapist Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of Getting the Sex You Want.
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Meanwhile, your rectum—where something will be moving back and forth—only contains small fragments of the brown stuff. If you’re worried about anything getting on him (or your sheets), Dweck advises washing your anus with mild soap and water and/or emptying your bowels (you can use an enema if you’re really freaked out over the poo factor) prior to having anal sex. A condom can also come in handy here, too.
5. Your Butt Hole Will Get Stretched Out
Receiving anal sex does not equate to developing a penis-sized hole in your backside. “Tissue is elastic, and the anal sphincter muscles are tightly toned, so unless you are receiving ‘larger than life toys,’ this shouldn’t pose a problem,” says Dweck. “In fact, please ensure all toys have an easy ‘retrieval’ mechanism, like a string or base. You don’t want to lose toys inside.” It’s that tight. (One reason giving it feels great for many men.)
6. Straight Guys Don’t Like Receiving
Gay men may have made anal en vogue, but open-minded straight guys are often into it, too. “Most men like anal stimulation because the prostate gland sits on top of the area between the anus and the testes and controls ejaculation,” says Nelson. “It will make ejaculation more intense and more enjoyable. For him, go slow, use lube, and be patient. Once he has experienced it, he might enjoy it with oral sex or with a sex toy during vaginal intercourse.”
